Long-distance Grandparents
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| As many Canadian families move across the country and beyond,
grandparents are faced with the challenge of keeping a long-distance
relationship with their grandchildren intimate and current. If you or your
grandchildren have recently moved away, you may be searching for ways to
stay in touch, or worried that you won’t be an important part of their
lives. |
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| No need to worry – if you make the effort, your relationship with your
grandchildren won’t suffer, and may even grow stronger as you make a
concerted effort to stay in touch. Technology has certainly helped, and if
you are comfortable with a computer, the internet offers many excellent
ways to stay in touch. Old Fashioned methods (snail mail and visits) are
also important. Use some of our suggestions below as inspiration and a
jumping off point for creating a strong long-distance relationship that
both you and your grandchildren will cherish. |
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Invest in a Webcam
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| Go beyond a long distance phone plan – invest in a webcam and set up
an online messenger or phone account. While email and chat are good basics
for staying in touch, being able to see who you are talking to facilitates
faster, more natural, and often more personal conversations. A high
quality conversation is important for those long breaks between visits,
and seeing your face will make the experience more enjoyable for your
young grandchildren (who may be too young to type you a message
themselves, but will be able to participate in a video conversation).
Purchasing a webcam and headset or microphone for yourself and one to send
to your grandchildren is a great gift you can both enjoy. |
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| Once you have your webcam and microphone or headset, finding a program
to use is easy. MSN Messenger will allow you to have video chats with
family all over the world, as will Skype. Both programs are free to
download, and communication is free between parties. Skype can also be
used as a web-based, long distance phone service, where phone calls
between Skype users are free, and calls from Skype to a land line or cell
phone are billed at a competitive rate. |
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Keep Track of Activities
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| Ask your children to send you a calendar of your grandchildren’s
important events (sports games, art classes, special projects and
activities at school), or simply inquire about upcoming events at the
beginning of the month. Gmail calendar can be great for this. Keep track
of these activities so that you can send a ‘Good Luck’ email the day
before a big test or make a call to offer congratulations after an
important game. Keeping up to date with your grandchildren’s daily
activities will keep your relationship strong. Many grandparents know the
frustration of hearing the response ‘Nothing…’ after asking their teenage
grandchildren ‘What’s new’? Being able to ask a direct question about
current events in your grandchild’s life should result in a more intimate
conversation. |
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Send Care Packages
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| Send care packages ever once and a while. They don’t have to be
elaborate or expensive, but a handwritten card, a small toy or book, or
local newspaper clippings that you think would interest your grandchildren
will all make a child’s day. Audio tapes of you reading favorite bedtime
stories are nice for young children to listen to as they fall asleep.
Remember a long-distance relationship needs to be reciprocal; not just you
asking about your grandchildren’s lives, but sharing your life as well.
Sending updates about what you are doing, and postcards or small souvenirs
when you travel will make your grandchildren feel like they are a part of
your life – an important part of staying close. |
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Use Online Photo Sharing Sites
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| Create an account on a photo sharing site such as Kodak gallery or
Flickr. Here, both you and your grandchildren (with the help of their
parents) can upload photos on a regular basis. Being able to peruse new
photos will keep your relationship current. Make sure to post some picture
of what is going on in your life as well! |
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Make a playlist
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| If you know how, making a playlist or a mix CD is a great way to be a
part of your grandchild’s daily life. Sharing your musical favorites with
them can be a great way to introduce them to some new artists, and could
start them on a path of musical discovery. Select some songs that have a
kid-friendly tune, or something in the same vein of music they already
like. Most CD Burners and programs available right now are very
user-friendly, and you don’t have to download music to burn – you can
select songs from you existing CD library. Your grandchild will be
reminded of you whenever they listen to the mix CD. |
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Curate an Art Gallery
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| Keep the art your grandchildren send you in a few designated frames on
your wall, and rotate them often as new masterpieces are created. Take a
picture of your grandchildren’s ‘gallery’ every once in a while to send
them, letting you know that their creations are part of your every-day
life. |
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Visits
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| To keep your bond strong, nothing compares to face-to-face visits.
Visiting your grandchildren at their home is one option, but what about
hosting a ‘Grandparent Camp’ every year for a week? Plan activities and
outings for your grandkids, and either host them at your place or meet
them somewhere else for a vacation. The ‘camp’ could coincide with a
getaway for your grandchildren’s parents, which enables them to reenergize
while you have some one-on-one time with your grandchildren. |
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Keep Family History Alive
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| As the matriarch or patriarch of a multi-generation family, it is your
job to keep family history alive for your grandchildren. Interesting bits
of family lore, stories about family members long passed, and
recollections about what life was like when you were young are all
important to share with your grandchildren. For a long-distance
grandparent, this might mean collecting some interesting photos and
recalling some stories in preparation of sharing when you visit your
grandchildren. If you have access to a scanner, you could scan some old
family photos, perhaps adding a caption, and send these to your
grandchildren. A phone call a few days later where both you and your
grandchild can look over the photos simultaneously (though miles apart)
should provide you with a great opportunity to share your family history. |
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| (Note that some photo labs will be able to digitalize your photos for
you, burning them to CD, if you aren’t able to scan them yourself). |
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Souvenir Books
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| When you do get to visit or take a vacation with your grandchildren,
make sure to keep a few souvenirs from your time together to save for a
souvenir book. Combine these mementos (maybe a postcard from the zoo, menu
from a favorite restaurant you visited, ticket stubs from the show you
saw, etc) with pictures of your time together in a scrapbook. Send the
souvenir book a few days after the trip for your grandchildren to enjoy.
The book will be a reminder of the great times you shared together! |
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| There are many ways you can stay an active part of your
grandchildren’s lives, no matter the distance. Don’t be discouraged if
they sometimes aren’t talkative or receptive to your efforts – this is
normal. As long as you remain a positive presence in your grandchildren’s
lives, your relationship will thrive and grow across many miles! |
