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How Parents around the world give their children a Head Start
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Book Review |
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Kids: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Raise Our Children. |
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By Meredith F. Small |
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Anchor Books 2002 |
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In this fascinating book, professor of anthropology Meredith Small
investigates how children are raised all over the world. She focuses on
how our Western ideas of what is best for children differ from what is
considered ‘best’ in other societies. Ultimately, she argues that every
family wants what is best for their children, attempting to raise
children who will be successful and adjust to the society in which they
live. How parents meet this challenge around the world varied widely. |
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Small writes about her research on the San people of Botswana and
Namibia, Africa. For the San, babies and children are part of a very
close social group that includes parents and extended family.
Everything about the San, from how they work to the homes they live in,
is conducive to their communal lifestyle. Among the San, parents or
another adult immediately respond to infant cries; babies are carried
at all times, and they are fed almost constantly – on average every
thirteen minutes! San children are not expected to contribute to the
camp – no chores or domestic duties until the age of fourteen for girls
and sixteen for boys. |
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In many ways, child-rearing among the San is far different from our
Western model. Babies left to sleep alone in cribs with wooden bars, in
a separate room from their parents, is seen as cold, almost cruel by
more hands-on societies such as the San. And where Western parents
generally see some benefit to having their children help out with
chores around the house, in some cultures childhood is seen as a time
to be enjoyed without the burden of responsibilities. In still other
cultures, work from a young age is both necessary and beneficial. |
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Among the Maya of Mexico, Small reports that children as young as three
begin to work. By the time they are fifteen they are working as long
and as hard as their parents – often in the fields with corn, but also
processing food at home. Kids work more as they grow, but generally
spend about 30% of their day working, and are thus paying for
themselves through their contribution to the household. Western ideas
about children and work suggest that children’s work should exist to
teach them to help out while giving them basic skills, not to provide a
financial contribution to the family. This doesn’t make sense to the
Maya, who place a high value on the work that every member of the
family contributes. And researchers who have spent time with the Maya
report that their system works for them, with high overall levels of
happiness in the society and good mental health overall. In light of
their functional, healthy society one researcher remarked on their
attitudes towards work; “I am convinced they are doing this right”. |
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Parenting is another area Small investigated. Unlike here in the west,
in most societies in the world it is not mothers who are the primary
caregivers and companions to children – this responsibility falls on
older siblings. While economic necessity might dictate that both
parents need to be working rather than being full time caregivers to
their children, it does not explain why the task isn’t left to one or
two adults in the group. Why are the children babysitters? It seems
that babysitting is thought to be an age appropriate task: one with
responsibilities that are important for the older children to learn.
Feeding, cleaning, carrying, toilet training, and keeping babies and
younger children out of harm’s way are all important tasks that the
young caregivers have been shown to excel at. Studies show that seven
year olds who are put in charge of two-year olds will emulate their
mothers, even putting on a high pitched voice when talking to their
young charges. |
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How does this affect children? Both the babysitters and their younger
siblings seem to thrive. For the older child, responsibility is
learned, as well as valuable parenting skills. They gain a sense of
purpose and self-worth that comes from knowing they are contributing to
their family. The younger children get to learn from other kids, not
just from adults, as our Western model dictates. This mixed-age
learning environment seems to have social benefits and can contribute
to a strong, intergenerational community. Our Western belief in age
segregation – in classes at school, sports teams and playgroups – is
not the norm in many parts of the world, where children of different
ages grow up together. It is important to note that in these societies,
the children are never really all alone – they are usually in shouting
distance, if not visual contact, with their parents. Should any
problems arise the adults are always immediately available. |
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Kids is a fascinating read for anyone interested in child
development, anthropology, and cultural values. Small presents her
findings in a clear, easy-to-read manner, and provides examples on a
variety of interesting topics from societies around the world. Between
the covers of Kids, the reader will be introduced to childhood among
hunter-gather groups in Africa, agrarian societies in Latin America,
and small island communities in the Caribbean. This academic look at
child rearing the world over is a fascinating read for anyone
interested in a deeper understanding of why parents raise their
children the way they do. |
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