How Getting a Pet Gives Your Child a Head Start
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Every toddler takes delight in all things fuzzy. Children seem to have
a natural fascination for other critters. But the idea of dog hair,
stinky litter boxes, and costly pet foods can make Mom and Dad squirm. |
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Don’t let yourself be bullied by your baby’s enthusiasm into a poorly
thought out pet purchase. But keep in mind, the issue is not one likely
to go away. It will resurface frequently over the years. A few cats or
an aquarium of fish or a big, friendly dog do indeed make wonderful
additions to the family, but consider who and when carefully, and use
the opportunity to teach children about responsibility and budgeting. |
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Giving your child a pet is more than the gift of animal companionship.
It is a gift of the most important lessons that you can give. |
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1. Making major decisions |
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Choosing a pet can be one of your child’s first major decisions. Guide
him or her through the process by asking a lot of questions. The first
decision is whether or not she can handle the responsibilities inherent
in caring for a pet- deciding whether or not to get a pet at all. Once
he has decided to get a pet, choosing one is in and of itself an
exercise in the process of elimination, and an exercise in studying the
pros and cons of a situation. Work with your child to make lists of
pluses and minuses for the kinds of pets he wants. Narrow the exercise
by listing the pets he is not allowed to choose from- remember kids
don’t have a sense of why or why not, and might choose a hippopotamus
or giraffe! Don’t laugh at him or her- explain sincerely that giraffes
are too tall for the house, and that they prefer to live on a hot
savannah, so they wouldn’t be happy living with the family. Explain
that you cannot get a puppy because Daddy is allergic and gets very
sick, so the remaining options are fish, a cat, a bunny, or a hamster. |
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2. Compromising big decisions with other family members |
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Maybe your daughter wants a Maltese puppy and your son wants a
cockatiel. Help them both consider the pros and cons of each animal.
Help them choose wisely together. There may be tears and arguments, but
this is a terrific lesson in compromising inside a family. |
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3. Prioritizing others |
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Owning a pet means your child will learn how to prioritize the needs of
others. She may not like changing the litter box, for example, but the
cat needs a clean toilet so she must learn to do things that her pet
requires. She may want to stay overnight at a slumber party, but
prioritizing the needs of her animal means she must come home instead
to take her dog for his walk. In addition to putting the pet’s needs
above her own wants, a child also learns the difficult lesson of
putting the needs of other people above her own, too. After all, Mom
and Dad suffer, too, if puppy hasn’t gone outside to do his business,
because the pet may mess up expensive carpeting. There is no better way
to learn these kinds of lessons than through application. Being told to
put others first or reading about it is too abstract for a child to
really grasp. But when it’s real, a child can catch on quick. |
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4. Consider another’s feelings |
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Related to prioritizing others above self is considering another’s
feelings. Your young son will have to learn to consider his puppy’s
feelings and the feelings of his siblings or friends, too. If he’s
mauling the puppy too hard, the dog may bite him, which is a quick
teacher to respect an animal’s boundaries. If he never shares puppy
playtime with his sister, she may get upset and cry, and that’s a good
time to talk with him about considering how she feels. |
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5. Going without |
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It’s important for everyone to understand what it is like to make
sacrifices and go without. Before adopting a pet, you’ll need to
explain the expenses involved, and make it a non-negotiable that your
child is responsible to help care for those expenses with his or her
own money. She may want a new video game, but the dog food is empty
again. Don’t bail her out- stick to the original arrangement, whatever
it was. You make sacrifices all the time to care for your child, and
now your child is learning that sometimes we must forego things we want
for the greater good. The dog needs to eat. Then, there are
emergencies. Owning a pet is a good way to teach preparation for
emergencies. By saving a percentage of allowance or earnings or
birthday money, for example, your child can create a cache for
unexpected vet bills. |
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6. Budgeting |
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Caring for a living creature that has expensive needs is one of the
best ways to teach budgeting to children. After all, budgeting in toys
and games are hardly necessities. But cat litter or fish food are not
things that can be skipped. Before adopting, explain that each and
every allowance day or birthday, a percentage or amount of money goes
directly, automatically, into pet care. Let your child know and
understand that this will be ongoing for many years, and is not open
for debate. Getting a pet is expensive, and not something you renege on
just because you don’t like paying the bills anymore. |
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7. Chores |
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We all have to do unpleasant chores. Kids don’t understand that their
school is clean because the janitor works so hard, and that roaches
would fill the kitchen if Daddy didn’t do the dishes three times a day.
Even if they witness chores, they can’t put two and two together. But
owning a pet will be hands-on training to the harsh reality in life
that we must do many things we find unpleasant. Pet chores like walking
the dog and cleaning the cat box or fish bowl should be non-negotiable
tenets of family life. Owning something is a responsibility, and caring
for a life is a greater one. Don’t bail your kids out of chores- or
expenses. They learn much about the value of care and work through
loving a pet. |
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8. Dealing with disappointment |
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Having a pet is exciting and fun, but there are many lessons
nonetheless in dealing with disappointments. Maybe your child won’t be
able to get a toy he wants because all of the family’s extra money went
into an aquarium. Of course you explained that sacrifices would be
made, but now comes the time to experience them and put into practice
dealing with disappointment. Or maybe the kitten chooses to sleep on
the sofa instead of with your daughter, and she must come to terms for
the first time that you cannot force another living being into your
will much of the time. Another tough lesson is that nobody’s perfect.
Maybe the parrot is annoying and noisy, or the dog that blooms out of
the puppy is huge and knocks everything over. The lesson that we don’t
just toss someone away because they don’t suit our every whim is
valuable. It also means troubleshooting, and looking for solutions to
the problems. Handling disappointment and looking for ways to live with
imperfect situations are key skills in relating to others. |
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9. Exercise and imagination |
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Having a dog is a great way to make sure your child is getting
exercise. Playing with pets like fish or hamsters and cats is
tremendous for developing the imagination. |
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10. Interacting with professionals |
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Having responsibilities to an animal will give your child valuable
experience interacting with adults and professionals. Involve your
child in all vet visits and let him answer the questions. This will
sharpen his power of observation and teach him more about his animal. |
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11. Dealing with loss |
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Your child may learn about disease, loss and death through owning a
pet. No parent wants a kid to have to go through sickness or to suffer
through a loved one’s death, but these parts of life simply can’t be
avoided. Being actively involved in caring for a living creature is a
transition to asking all the big questions, and a good segue for you to
answer them. |
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Give your child a head start in his interactions with others, his sense
of value, his budgeting and prioritizing, and his commitments and
responsibilities by taking in a new family member. The reward is
priceless. |
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There are a number of great books about pet care, or stories about
pets. If you’d like to look at a few,
click here. |
